Procrastinator . Lazy . Dysfunctional . Tanned . Looks like a cheongster . But isn't really one at all .
Adores... All things purple . Mom . Friends . Grey Lenses . Hazelnut latte . Sliced fish soup . Vodka cranberry . Cranberry shimmer lotion . Dirty Girl Bodymist . Late Nights on the 'Lilacbox' . Retail therapy . Big watches . Keeping fit . Changes . Music . Books . Graphic novels . French movies . Beaches . Sunsets . Archie comics in the loo . Bunz
Detests...Cockroaches . Pimples . Dark eye rings . Arrogance . Crying kids . Fake slangs . Poseurs . Featherbrains . Whiney,high piched voices . Pink . Being bored . Techno & Heavy metal . Maths . Empty promises . Being broke . & moody .
Yearns for...
1. Hong Kong shopping trip
2. OL Clothes
3. Aldo Shoes
4. Mphosis Shrug
5. A black $219 Guess Handbag
6. A Brazilian bikini from Buttcheeks.
7. An empire dress
8. Facials & spas
9. An image overhaul
10.A job
Her music deck...
~No diggity~
Blackstreet feat. Dr Dre
I think I'm not cut out to be a major slacker (Ie. Stay home and rot). Why do I say that? Well... Cos it makes me uber depressed...N I must say its not the normal feel-down-and-out kinda mood...but I'm talking about crying-my-eyes-out-for-nothing kinda depressed. When I down with nothing much to do, my mind starts to wander and get myself lost in mental space. Feelings of self-doubt starts creeping in and I start to think that I'm a major good-for-nothing parasite sucking the life out of my parents, not to mention past bad memories have been attempting to find a space in my grey matter to squeeze into. I have worked very hard not to let myself sink into yet another one of those moods by constantly keeping myself occupied. Exams tore me away for a good 3 months, and even before that I had my part-time job. Hence I almost forgot how it felt like to be in the dumps. Importantly, I also had bunz. But he has found a job. I was so excited and happy for him. But at the same time I felt sorry for myself. It also didn't help that when I'm rotting at home, I also miss him badly. My family needed me to get a job so badly I'm starting to feel a lil' cornered. Sigh... Of course, I'm also in a desperate need myself to get my arse employed but well...despite the fact that the local job market is picking up, it didn't seem to be improving for fresh graduates like myself. I am counting on friends and relatives for any opportunities that they might know of. Which make me feel even more useless. Urgh...but well...for the sake of a ricebowl, I will just have to thicken my skin. I am definitely looking forward to my HK trip this Thursday. I need a getaway...
Seraphim needed you at 12:01:00 AM
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Yes...after almost a year of hiatus, I decided to make a comeback. It's been awhile...things have changed..people have changed...my life has changed (in some ways at least, althought it might not be for the better). My final year exams were just over, and all of a sudden, after months of camping in school...mugging my arse off...it was over in a blink of an eye. I was lost...in this transition between school and the working society I will be embarking on in due time. I wondered about my future. What kinda jobs do I want to do? And how can I be sure it will be what I want? I guess that will always be the questions that haunt graduating students out there. I always felt that I knew what kinda jobs I will be doing. But when I actually start researching on them, doubts crept in. Interviews along the way had given me experiences on what to expect, although the process of it all were not always pleasant. But nevertheless it had been interesting. "So this is what an unemployed feels like...". In any case, I am on the prowl.
In the past 1 year, there had been new friends, there had been old ones who suddenly decided that I was actually worth keeeping in touch and met up with me. There was also one whom I had hardly ever seen in our meet-ups but reappeared out of the blue. It was then I found out. There was a break-up. Despite the fact that we will always welcome her back since being friends would mean being there for one another, but well, on a personal note, friendships are a 2-way thing. One should always keep in touch with old friends and not abandon them simply because one is attached. And when the relationship ends, you decide that since there is no one else to accompany you to shop, study or chill, you shall go back to your friends. You're sure they don't mind anyway, even though you have not went out with them on outings for the past 2-3 years. Yes, we don't mind. But I for one certainly do not feel good about it. Call me petty or even selfish. But I guess I just didn't fancy being taken for granted. And yup, she's back and even managed to charm a few of them into closer friendships with her. Not me though. Unfortunately, I am not one who can get along so easily with people (especially overly beautiful people who think about nothing except shopping since they they have oodles of money and feel that they are really smart because they watch Discovery channel), and hence I was used instead. I am only consulted on serious issues ie. School issues. Afterwhich, it was a fullstop. I'm just looking forward to the day she gets attached again. You do it once, u'll do it again. From what I can sense, it'll be yet another Houdini act. Ah well...yes...i'm old...I should learn to take life easy. But I guess these are just little quirkiness (or you may call it childishness) about me that doesn't seem to age.
Seraphim needed you at 6:15:00 AM
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Ooo...I just simply love to groooooooovve to this song...in my own bedroom of course. Aahh...nothing like some good solid r&b to lift up a super damp spirit caused partially by the erratic weather. I absolutely detest the fact that I can't go for my regular mid-morning swim & instead have to stick to jogging...& jogging alone. Urgh...I'm praying hard Bangkok won't have such weather pms when I visit it in late Aug.
Blues...Pretty upset I had to have an argument with mum...again. Once again, it's because of my apparent selfishness. That I'm unwilling to tutor my brother, pepetually thinking about going out, having fun jalan-ing with friends & yadah yadah... This issue has been going on for the longest time. To clear up the air, I had always been teaching my brother, or rather my siblings for that matter. But it hasn't been a bed of roses. Things weren't even as difficult when I give tuition to other kids since I've been given full authority to lecture, scold, nag...u name it, at the kids. But not my brother...especially my brother (Mum leaves my sis totally in my hands...more or less). Everytime I dealt out harsh words or threaten with the cane, mum comes running & gives excuses for him like, "The poor boy's tired from staying back in school!", or "He's been doing his school work the whole day already!" (according to the clock, it was more like half an hour...). She always preached that my brother doesn't take to scoldings & threats at all & that I must be super nice & ready with rewards peppered with plenty of sweet words...every single time. & that kids nowadays cannot be caned or reprimanded or else they will turn rebellious & blah blah. Sheesh... spare the rod, spoil the child for goodness sake! My sis was whacked till middle of primary school, & I remember being whacked even when in secondary 1! Faced with such obstacles, how was I suppose to teach that spoilt brat. When everytime I raised my voice I'm faced with red eyes on the verge of tears, & my mum comes arunning at the first signs of a howl. Left with no choice, I decided to wash my hands off him. She can handle him since she knows his temperament so well, I'll just handle my sis. There was no way I'm gonna be sugar & spice & all things nice all the time. I believe in being an angel at the right time & the devil when things are supposed to get done. & now I'm accused of being selfish & being given the cold treatment... Sigh... Ah well...maybe like what she said, I will never know till I have my own children. But hey, I'm pretty darn sure I love my siblings just as much as I will love my own kids in future. Afterall I was the 1 who washed & changed their nappies not to mention bottle fed them & patted them to bed when they were young. Moving on.... I can't wait for my Bangkok trip. I'm utterly deprived of retail therapy. Unbelievably, the only thing I bought for myself since June was a skirt. Man...even I'm amazed at my own resistance to the surrounding temptations.
Seraphim needed you at 6:40:00 PM
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1. Your cheeky grin
2. You hounding me for an sms to inform you that I've safely stepped into my house
3. Your pout...(Yes...he pouts... ;P) & the smell on your face...rusty & all
4. Your tolerance of my pig-headedness & relentless stubborness
5. The fact that I can trust you to tell me the truth
6. Your sense of responsibility towards the things you do
7. Your ability to knock sense into me during my impulsive moments
8. Your mature manner of analysing situations & people
9. How you always take me into consideration with everything that you do
10. The different ways that you show your love always puts a smile on my face
Seraphim needed you at 8:06:00 PM
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Ever since exams ended, I've been plunged into an abyss never ending work. Not that I'm complaining since it brings in my much desired income. But as I trudged thru' this, I have come to realize some stuffs. When one's desperate for money, does it really matter if the boss sucks? It's merely a part-time job anyway, plus it's not here to stay. As long as it pays, I feel we should just put up with the sh*t. Perhaps it's because I've been well-trained in the art of the '1-ear-in-1-ear-out' skills due to many many years of a string of part-time jobs, but other than that, I guess it's also because I've put up with worse sh*t than a mere lousy boss. No doubt, with the kind of family I grew up in, with jealousy, backstabbing, screaming at each other's throats, chased out of our own house by aunties over a period of almost 2 decades, a CMI boss sounds like a better deal in more ways than 1. Although 1 might say certain jobs doesn't bring in the kind of work experiences they need in future after graduation, but I personally feel that any job at all, will in some ways or another bring in some forms of experience that is valuable in future. Yes...even the sai gang. For one, it trains your patience level to put up with it, it lets 1 see the itty gritty details of an organisation and the running of it. An office boy does everything, right down to emptying the waste baskets, but hey, he's getting himself familiarized with the company in a micro way. In the days immediately after graduation, do we really have the luxury of being picky about the jobs we get? With so many graduates taking on contract jobs, it's no longer the hey-day where we get to choose our employers. The first job will somehow be almost impossible to be what we truly want. But it's the experience we gain from this stint that will allow us to move on to the next step. And I'm pretty certain a boss hiring on a full time basis will definitely be quite different from 1 who hired u part-time. There'll be higher expectations, increased nagging, more breathing-down-the-neck than there ever will be. Faced with that, are we just gonna walk out on our jobs? To different employees, it might appear as if its a good for nothing job, but for employers, to get to where they are, I'm sure they have their reasons for everything. Plus...if we do get a desirable job, carrying out all the duties we have always dreamed of, these might actually be all the sai gang for the top management. Anyhoo, personally I practise filtering the information given. As long as I feel what I'm doing fulfils what is expected of me, the rest of the nagging can be shut-out....totally....Hey, it has helped me so far to get by the lousiest of the lousiest bosses =) I don't mean to be rude here. And I apologise if any of this sounded offensive. I guess its to each its own.
Seraphim needed you at 6:46:00 PM
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